This weekend I got my Barre Teacher Training certification from Tula (the same place I did my yoga training). It was absolutely incredible! Megan, the teacher has the best energy I’ve felt in so long and she was so extremely knowledgeable on the subject between anatomy, injuries, pregnancies, you name it, she know how to adjust for it!
When going in to class on Saturday I ran into a friend of mine and fellow teacher, Erica (we got our yoga certificates together, and she is fantastic!), she asked me “How do you do it all? Where do you get your energy from? How do you have time for everything you do?” This is a big question, and it’s funny because I generally just say I don’t know, or I just try my hardest to make a difference for others…. but it was something I put a lot of thought into this weekend.
To backtrack a little… what exactly is it that I do everyday that she’s so curious about? Or what is Erica talking about?…. I work a 9-5 job in NYC as a fragrance chemist, but commuting from NJ does mean I’m up at 5:30 am and home at 6:30 pm (that in itself can be exhausting)…. 2 nights a week I teach my powerflow yoga class from 6:45-8 pm, I often wind up subbing at least 1 more time almost every single week around that same time, on Sundays I also teach a vinyasa class at 9 am, I am taking online courses for my nutrition degree that come out with a new lecture every Monday, I was getting my Barre Certification, I am teaching in Costa Rica next month, planning a yoga retreat, writing a yoga program, health coaching on the weekends, and somehow in between all of that I find time for hockey and football season, spending time with loved ones, and oh yeah even taking some fitness classes as well (TRX, yoga, barre, etc)…. Well….how? I almost don’t always know the answer myself… it seems like I am crazy, and that there’s not enough hours in a day for all of that to get done, and the truth is sometimes there isn’t!
I think part of my personality has always done better with having something to do. I am not someone who can binge watch a show or read a whole book in one weekend, no matter how good either are… I don’t often like to sit still…. it is rare that I ever just stay home for an entire weekend; it is not for me… but with that being said, it is probably exactly what I need sometimes…. Developing a balance between the two is a huge challenge of mine that I am trying to overcome. I often forget to take a little time for myself, whether it’s a massage, a weekend getaway, or just an afternoon of doing simply nothing… it is well needed, and I will get better at it with time… The first step is a little self reflection which I am making a point to take, especially each time I notice an important question like this come up…
I don’t think of any of the things I mentioned above as work…. I love my science, always have, hence me continuing school for further science degrees… the commute, I could do without, but for now that’s ok. Teaching yoga, really comes from the heart with me, it is never something I find stressful, I love my students, and knowing that I have made such an impact on so many people with their injuries, relationships, and self care really always reminds me that this is why I do it. Don’t get me wrong it is not as easy day, nor does it mean I stay calm 24/7 or never break down, I am human… but the times where I am losing my cool, I look inside and remember why it is I started on this path.
The energy I have can be overwhelming to others at times, maybe even intimidating… I am the type of person who gets excited about everything, and not everyone understands this… I’ve been called “annoyingly happy” many times and even told in the workforce “I cannot be taken seriously” because of it…. well…. maybe they’re right, maybe I am a little annoying, maybe I am too excited about the smaller things…. but ya know what? I don’t care! That is what makes me who I am…. my passion is always all in… if it’s not, then what’s the point?
It is safe to say that sometimes I am completely exhausted and drained, but I never really let that show. I put on a smile and let everyone think I am perfectly fine all the time, but it is pretty obvious when I am not… The struggle is most deff. real with trying to be there for everyone all the time, making sure everyone I care about is happy, making sure my students and clients are safe, healthy, and thriving…. but I wouldn’t change it for anything in this world. I could sit here and tell you all my problems about my bills and family drama, or relationship struggles… but all of that comes and goes…. we all have ups and downs, highs and lows, this is inevitable, but finding passion….. now that is something we have to look within for and no one should ever take that away from you… whatever it is that you are passionate about, please go and do it! Do not let anyone’s negative opinions stop you, especially your own…. do not ever feel silly for being passionate about something, a mistake I made for so long b/c “I wasn’t serious enough” , have your breakdowns, but know that you are enough, no matter where you are or what you’re doing. If your heart is in the right place, you will always be right where you need to be and nothing will stop you.
The light in me shines, because of the light that shines in you; together we light up the sky. From my heart to yours, Namaste! Xoxo